Fade in.

Int. Office building. Cracks snake down walls and settling of the building is audible.

Liberal Arts grad sits before prospective employer, visibly sweating through box-store dress shirt. Greying executive leans back in ergonomic chair behind desk and nameplate engraved “RICH R. BOOMER”.

Boomer

You’ve just graduated from university with a BA, a degree I see no value in despite bemoaning a shortage of critical thinking graduates with excellent communication skills. Tell me, why should I hire you?

Millennial

Well, ah, sir, I know I don’t have much professional experience, but I’m a quick learner. If you incest – ah invest- the time in training me-

Boomer

How do I know you won’t just pack up and leave for a better job the second I train you?

Millenial

Sir, if you pay me well enough and your company’s philosophy is something I agree with I don’t see why I would ever-

Boomer

(Red in face)

You Millenials! You think you’re entitled to a job that caters to your “life goals” and “inner purpose” and “area of study I went to school for” just because you have a university education.

Millenial

Sir, I’m working two jobs to pay my student loans, I’d have to disagree with you calling me entitled-

A knock on the door. The floor sags as a middle-aged man pokes his head around the corner.

Boomer

I told you to leave! I fired you for a reason – I can’t afford to keep paying your salary!

Man

But I need a job to pay my kids’ college education so he can get a job! A job for a job for a job-

Boomer

Get out!

Man

(Yanked out of the room by his few remaining hairs)

Arrgghhh!

Boomer

See, kid? That guy’s got twenty years of experience on you and is looking for exactly the same job. Only difference is, he’s willing to work twice as hard for it. Why should I hire you when I could hire him?

Millenial

That was my dad, sir.

Boomer

(Not listening)

Tell you what. I know you need a job. I get that. So how about you work for me…as a temporaryunpaidintern.

The cracks in the ceiling shift with a deafening crunch. Dust falls into Boomer’s hair, making him look even older.

Millenial

What?

Boomer

Don’t make me say it again! The UTSU breathing down my neck trying to force me to pay you kids what I legally owe you.

Door falls off its hinge. Behind it a young woman falls to her knees. She has obviously been listening.

Woman

(Hysterical)

I have a graduate degree because I was told that it would guarantee me a job! I will take the temporary unpaid internship! No need to train me, no need to give me basic benefits, or job security, or fair wages! Who needs money! A bachelor’s degree is the new high school diploma, you know!

Boomer

(Turns to Millenial)

See kid? She has the right idea.

Woman falls through a newly-formed hole in the ground, sucking her in with a small, high pitched scream.

A young, scraggly-looking engineering grad jumps the precipice.

Engineer

Hey there everyone, I was in the neighborhood and noticed your building is collapsing. How about I design you a new one?

Boomer

Do you have experience?

Engineer

I can’t get experience because I can’t find a job because I don’t have experience-

(The building sways sickeningly, Jenga-like)

Sir, this building is about to collapse!

Boomer

Nonsense! This structure has worked fine for years. I’ve got a corner office with great views. I worked hard to get this far – if this building goes down, I’m going down with it, and I’m taking you kids with me!

Millenial

(Voice quaking with emotion)

Sir, all my life I’ve been told by your generation that I could be anything I wanted to be. Well, I don’t want to work anywhere that sees me as incompetent and unworthy of investment in job security or fair wages. If your generation can’t provide us with careers, my generation will create our own.

The Engineer and Millennial exit the building. They make good on their promise, and shortly after the office building collapses silently into dust.

This article originally appeared in the December issue of The Strand in “Stranded” here.